Pure Emotion is a Stimulus for Movement

Is it emotion or emotional? Emotion is the pure feeling, and emotional is the reaction to the feeling. Sadness is the the pure emotion. Moodiness, depression, self-pity are reactions to the sadness. We often indulge in the emotional or reaction to in order to avoid the pure feeling.

It is important to be able to discern between pure emotion and the reaction to that feeling. Knowing the pure feeling is the most important information you can have about how to act in an experience or situation.

Pure emotion is a stimulus for movement. It is a call to action. Everything I say and do (all movement) ought to come from my feelings. This is what our instincts are. Intention is an expression of my feelings. What I stand for comes from my feelings. Acting from our feelings is honest. Acting from feeling is innocent and pure. Acting from feeling is acting with passion.

Feelings are either a stimulus toward or away from. Attraction or repulsion. Joy is a call for unfoldment- a call for movement toward. Being attracted to, in awe of, curious about, or drawn to are stimuli for movement toward. Pure anger or rejection is a stimulus to move away from. Sadness or loss is moving way from. Feeling something is not right is a call to move away from.

We have to learn to trust our feelings and instincts. We are lost without them. Due to fear and the inability to trust our feelings, we check or filter our feelings though our intellect to feel safe- so we don't hurt people or ourselves or make mistakes. Then our action becomes contrived. It is not honest. We discount our feelings- our most important indicator for action.

So what's in your heart? I hope that is the direction that you are moving.

Blessing the Lesson

We just experienced a painful lesson. We realize we did some damage. We hurt someone's feelings. We pushed someone away. We missed an awesome opportunity. We neglected someone or something that is precious to us. We cost ourselves or someone else a lot of money.

We are now beating ourselves up. "How could I be so careless? What was I thinking?"

Rarely do we see this as the opportunity that it is- to learn something. If we made this mistake, there is a good chance that we have made it before. It might even be a behavioral pattern that we keep doing over and over again. If we learn this lesson now, we never have to experience this pain again. We could actually welcome the opportunity to learn from this experience. I call this, "blessing the lesson."

If we had learned the lesson before, we would not have needed to experience it again. Unfortunately, it often takes some pain or damage to get our attention. And... how long do we have to punish ourselves before we are willing to let it go? Just make sure we learn something before we do- no need to do this one again. Why not have some compassion for ourselves? What brought us to making such a mistake? Anyway, what are our choices? We can continue to beat ourselves up or we can try to glean value from it.

"Blessing the lesson" is promising yourself to never make that same mistake again. That ought to be a good enough reason to forgive yourself. Don't cha think?

I'm feeling a little overwhelmed here...

Our culture and world are overwhelming. Life comes at you come at us fast. We have little time to manage the massive amount of information that comes at us. We are impacted emotionally at a fast rate. The workplace is piling more and more stuff on us to do. We go on overload and then shut down. Our emotional self says, "Wrong, I am shutting this one down." Soon, we stop feeling the awe and joy of life as well

This is similar to PTSD (Post-traumatic Stress Disorder). It occurs when we experience something beyond what we are able to process emotionally. We suppress, numb, or forget the experience to protect ourselves. These things we suppress do not just go away- they get stored in our psyche. Later, when we feel safe, memories and dreams start coming back to us. That intense dream or horrific nightmare might be us trying to remember and feel something, so we can let it go. It is not coming back to haunt us, it is coming back so we can heal.

We get overwhelmed spiritually as well- by the vastness and unlimited possibilities of life. We don't have the tools to manage the expansiveness, so we create a veil between ourselves and creation to feel safe and in control. We create our own reality or world. We often do this at a relatively young age and then we forget that we did it. We start believing that our contrived reality is the way things are. We assume that other people are living in that reality too, but they created their own version. We miss a lot of life this way.

So what to do? To be open emotionally or grow spiritually, we must learn to manage overwhelm. The first step is containment. It is essential to limit our experiences and simplify our life to where we can feel it, again. This involves accepting that "all things affect" and becoming more selective with the things that we expose ourselves to (see previous blog). Just because we are not being affected intellectually, does not mean we are not being affected emotionally. Some things like work, ex-husbands/wives, etc., we may not be able to avoid- at least right away. But many of the things that overwhelm us stem from our choice to hang out in stressful environments. We could just as easy say "This is not a good place for me," and leave.

Forthcoming will be more tools to manage overwhelm. I believe it is one of the most essential and challenging things to staying emotionally and spiritually healthy in our world today.

I pray for not only me, but "For All My Relations"

My spiritual teacher, Bart Anderson, conducted Native American sweat lodges to help get in touch with themselves. He described sweat lodge as a place you go to pray. When praying in lodge, he suggested that I pray for the people that are in my "stream of consciousness" and for the things that I am part of. He said to do this because spirit does not recognize the concept of "I". It does not recognize separation- only connection. It is only us that views ourselves as separate. We create the illusion that we are separate and not connected to "all things."

The Lakota Sioux people pray by saying "Mitakuye Oyas'in" which means "for all my relations." Or, I ask this for not only me, but for all my relations. If you pray this way, he explained, spirit will answer your prayers. It will recognize your prayer as praying for the betterment of your people- which actually means something.

What if we saw ourselves that way all the time. If we expanded our level of consciousness to include all the people that we are a part of. As well, whenever we are in an experience, we encompassed all of the people that were involved in the experience. We could then consider what was best for the whole. Our life and expression would be a walking prayer that spirit would acknowledge and bless. Our life would be in harmony.

Predatory versus Mutually Beneficial interactions- you decide.

Our world has "de-evolved" or degenerated to the place where predatory interaction is the norm. Predatory actions are based on the notion that I can only gain at someone else's expense. The underlying belief of predatory behavior (like that of greed) is that my resources are limited. I do not allow myself to see possibilities. So if I want something, I am going to have to take it from someone else.

We can rationalize anything. We rationalize predatory behavior by saying things like, "it is just business." Corporations are "protecting their shareholder's interest." Most stockholders and consumers seem willing to support this behavior as long as they get a profitable investment or good deal on a flat screen TV.

The opposite of predatory interactions are mutually beneficial (or win-win) interactions. These interactions are based on the belief that if we collaborate and put our heads together, we can create a solution that allows everyone involved to benefit. We have to go beyond linear thought and limited perspectives to see new possibilities and innovate new paradigms. Once you prove to yourself that you can create things for yourself, the notion of gaining at another's expense is absurd. Why would you need to?

So now that the world's natural resources are getting more and more limited and the world population continues to sky rocket, we are going to have to choose. Are we going to fight each other for the remaining resources? Or... are we going to work together to create innovations that transcend our perceived limited resources to a place where this is enough for all who choose to participate. This choice may be the deciding factor between war and peace- between destruction and creation.

We make this choice every day. Whenever you collaborate with someone for mutual benefit, you are contributing to the peace of the planet and true evolution of humankind.

Got the January blahs? Feelings are a call to action.

The holidays are emotionally powerful. They force us to look at the extent we have the love and relationships that we want and need. For single people that want to be in a relationship, it is sad. For people that are not currently in relationships that fulfill them, it hurts. After it all subsides, we are left with January. The days are grey and short. There is a natural let down after the holiday extravaganza. We are behind at work. For many of us, there is not a lot going on in January. There may not be much to look forward to in the near future.

Depression is much more common than people acknowledge. It is not just with people that are clinically depressed or diagnosed. We all go though emotional cycles and can get down at times. January is a common time for this.

Feelings are a call to action. If I am feeling sad, lonely, or unfulfilled, it is a signal that I should attend to that area of my life.

Also, the best way to work through a depression is to take action. As soon as you engage in a project, activity, or relationship, you are not depressed anymore. Of course, the last thing that you feel like doing when you are feeling down is taking action. Usually, you have to force yourself. Sitting at home and feeling sorry for yourself may feel good (it releases endorphins), but it is not effective to work through the blahs.

So take that class, start that art project, get out and socialize. Make plans. Find something to look forward to. Flirt. Ask somebody out. Orchestrate a romantic evening with your significant other. Remember, it is a good time to position yourself for another emotionally-laden holiday around the corner- Valentine's Day.

So Happy January! What can you look forward to?

How do your environments affect you?

All things affect. Continuing with the seasonal theme of introspection and reevaluating our lives, it is essential to consider how the environments we expose ourselves to affect us. Environments include our home, neighborhood, workplace, relationship, friendships, and social arenas.

One of the stories that we tell ourselves is that we live in a vacuum and the environments we experience do not affect much. We can handle it. We are tough and resilient. We have good boundaries. The truth is that our environments have a huge effect on us and the quality of our lives. If we understood how much, we would likely be much more selective about what we expose ourselves to.

Environments either uplift us or tear us down. Truly uplifting environments are mutually beneficial in that everyone involved are uplifted. The best gauge is how you feel while you are in the environment. Another much is if you are supported to be yourself- regardless of what you are feeling or what mood you are in. Environments that affect us negatively lead to us becoming hardened, desensitized, cynical, sarcastic, anxious, or depressed.

We also tell ourselves that we are stuck with our existing environments. The reality is that all of our environments are a choice. They may not be immediately changeable. For instance, if we determine that our career exposes us to an environment that does not serve us, it may take a some time to shift that- but it still might be extremely worthwhile.

So it might be useful to consider how your environments are affecting you. Are they uplifting you? Are they serving you? If not, it may be time to make some different choices in 2010. There all kinds of environments and worlds to experience. Which ones do you choose?