True Strength is the extent that you can trust your heart

True strength comes from inside ourselves. Our heart knows what to do. We access this by allowing ourselves to feel. The extent that we are able to trust our heart and act on what it is telling us to do is how strong we are.

What do we look to when we find ourselves in a challenging situation? Do we trust ourselves enough to act on what our intuition and instincts are telling us to do?

Or... do we try to process it through our intellect? Do we look to others to tell us what to do. Do we try to figure out what is socially acceptable? These things compromise our strength.

Did you ever get a strong feeling to do or not do something, not listen to it, and then later find out that listening to yourself would have saved you a lot of grief?

Leaders are strong in this way. They trust themselves.

Our current world needs leaders and strong people. Can it count on you trusting your heart?

Discern when offering your gift to someone

Do you like to give? This teaching has helped me immeasurably. When giving... always bring up the energy of the gift to the person you are offering it to and discern if the door is open before offering it to them. Discern if there is a connection before proceeding.

Watch investing in people who are not open. This creates "misguided compassion." Make sure you are not projecting qualities onto them that you need them to have.

A gift from your heart is sacred. Treat it as being precious. People who are not open to it are not worthy of it. Are they in their heart or in their intellect. If they start judging or criticizing your gift, you know you are in trouble. Pack up your gift and move on. Do not waste the beauty of your heart on someone who is not open to it. It hurts you, and frightens and repels them.

So bring up the energy of your gift before offering it. Allow the energy of the person in. Are they compatible? Do they connect? If so, proceed. If not, save it for another day. This is discernment.

The beauty of your gift will soon attract someone that is open to it. You will see them... provided you don't keep trying to give it to people that are not open to it.

Personality is a choice

Our personality has a lot to do with how we respond to things. It is often based on our behavioral patterns, belief systems, and identity- the things we think that we are.

Wouldn't it be cool if we could go beyond these illusory and reactionary things and find our true personality? Then our personality would be an expression of our heart and who we really are.

Our personality would then be about how our soul is expressing itself at any given moment. Our personality would likely be more fluid and dynamic. It would be a pure expression of how I honestly see things at any given moment. What we stand for would remain consistent- so people can count on us and trust us.

So then our personality would be a choice. If I am tired of being cynical or intellectual, I could change it. If I am tired of always being nice and not rocking the boat, I could change that too. These things are likely not who we really are anyway.

So what do you choose your personality to be? Does it serve you? Maybe it is time for a personality make-over.

True Strength is Always Born of Gentleness

True strength is created from trusting ourself. More specifically it is based on trusting our heart- our intuition and instincts. It is not trusting our intellect. Strength based on our intellect or rules is contrived and rigid. This will create anger or "willful intent" and likely cause damage.

In order to access our true strength is is necessary to allow energy in. (In contrast to this, when we are angry, we push our energy out). When you are in a situation, open yourself to what is going on. Allow the energy of the situation in so you can feel what is going on. This allows your intuition or knowing self to kick in. Then you trust your heart or intuition (or gut) to tell what you to do and take action- even if it does not make sense intellectually. Acting from from your heart is always strong and true.

The best indicator of true strength is that it is always born of gentleness. What we do may be be firm and really strong with people, but it is always based on gentleness and compassion. This is because it came from your heart. It is based on the energy of the situation and the empathetic response of our intuition. Carl Jung called this acting based on the "requiredness of the situation."

So if your strength or strong action is gentle and compassionate, it is true. If it is not gentle, it is something else- usually control or anger. It is like that Keb Mo song, "I don't know what it is, but that's not love." Or in this case... that's not strength.

"But never give your love, my friend, Unto a foolish heart"

This Grateful Dead song, Foolish Heart, written by Robert Hunter and Jerry Garcia came into my head years after I had last heard it to help me understand a vital lesson.

In 2003, I had been sharing tender, vulnerable things about to myself to critical people. Bart Anderson, the spiritual teacher that I was working with shocked me one day. He said, "They don't deserve your heart." This seemed to go against everything that I had learned from him. He continued (and I paraphrase), "Well, look at it. You and the people you are sharing with are coming from two totally different places. You are opening your heart and being vulnerable, and they are criticizing you and using it against you. Why would you do that?" I didn't have a good answer. But I did stop doing it. He called it "discernment."

Years later I recognized a similar pattern sharing vulnerable things with careless people. And, investing lots of energy in them. It was not working out well. I was getting hurt. This is when I remembered the Foolish Heart song. I stopped doing that, too.

I still allow myself to be vulnerable, but I am much more selective with whom I share sensitive things with these days. But every now and then, I forget and pay the price. That's about when I hear Jerry Garcia's voice singing, "...Unto a foolish heart."