Friday, January 29, 2010

Feeling the loss of "What could have been"

Feeling disappointed? Did you see a possibility or potential to share something with someone that they were unwilling or unable to explore with you?

I encourage people to always be looking for the possibility of shared experiences. Can we explore this together? Unfortunately, sometimes people you want to share with are unable to get outside of themselves. They may not be emotionally available. They may not be able to see the same possibility that you do. You are left hanging.

At the core, this is an issue of loss. It is the loss of "what could have been." It is the loss of a hope or dream that you created with someone.

This is often the last piece of grieving a relationship. We have to let go of the dream that we created with that person. The dream will never again present itself in that same way or with that same person. It feels sad and hollow. It feels a little like dying- that is because a dream or possibility that you were able to see is dying.

The good news is that when you grieve "what could have been" at this level, you know you are at the bottom. You are almost over it. You just have to feel it as you let it go.

And... any moment now a beautiful new possibility will present itself to you.

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