"Encompassing" to Benefit Everyone Involved

Life happens fast. It is challenging to get out of yourself and become "part of" the experience that you are involved in. Most scramble to glean what they can for themselves.

"Encompassing" offers an alternative to this. It opens the door for "mutually beneficial" or win-win interactions. The first phase is asking yourself, "What am I a part of right now? What could benefit and uplift everyone involved?"

The second phase of encompassing is "allowing in" all of the information around you. I call this phase "broad-basing." This phase is often perceived as being overwhelming. We fear going into information overload.

Actually, broad basing makes the the third phase, decision making, easier. Some the challenges start working together to solve each other. Decisions are put in to perspective and the best course is more apparent.

The fourth phase is to trust yourself and take deliberate action.

You have to let go of how you would do it if you were alone. You have to let go of trying to control every aspect of the experience. Rather, you are orchestrating the forces that are around you. It is a highly effective leadership style.

For people who are up for it, the world desperately needs this type of leadership. The people involved experience that mutual beneficial interactions are possible. We as a people may start to believe in the possibility that business and interactions can be mutually beneficial. We could then once and for all evolve beyond predatory interactions and gaining at others expense.

Where are we going spend the holidays this year?

Wherever we spend our holidays says which family is most important to us. Whichever family gets the most priority during the holidays is our primary family. What is the important part of my holiday and whom I spend that with? Do we go to their house or do they come to ours? Where is Thanksgiving dinner? Where do we open our presents?

Our primary family is what we see ourselves to be most a part of. It is where we feel that we most belong. What we are most a part of is our primary role-identification. Am I primarily a husband and father or am I primarily my parents' son? I have to choose. Whether we realize it our not, what we emphasize during the holidays tells our mates, our children, our parents, and everyone around us where we stand. Actions speak louder than words.

Sometimes our family of origin is so strong, that we forget that our new family needs to be acknowledged. Do we trust our new family enough to make it our priority? Are we worried about hurting people's feelings? By acting to not hurt people's feelings, are we breaking other people's hearts?

It does not mean we can't be part of several families and celebrate them at different times. But which one are we most a part of? Which relationships are the most important to us? That is probably the family we should consider emphasizing the most this holiday season.