Friday, November 20, 2009

Are you a giving person? Allow the circle to complete itself.

Generous, giving people often allow themselves to be taken advantage of. Sadly, when people do not appreciate your gift, it has limited benefit. It is wasted effort. "Completing the Circle" (below) is a technique to give without being taken advantage of and to have your gifts make a difference:

1. Detach from the outcome of what the person will do with your gift.
2. Give a give a free gift that has no strings. Lay out your best.
3. Objectively observe if the person offers a "put back" to complete the circle. It could just be a sincere thank you. It could be valuing what you gave and using it to help their life or other's lives. It could be reciprocating. It could be payment for services. It could be taking you to lunch. It could be making you a pie or giving you some of their canned peaches. It could be ordering pizza when you help them move. It is their intent that counts here. It does not have to be of equal weight to what you gave them.
4. Look for patterns. Usually there will be behavioral patterns that happen over and over again. Are you the giver, and they the taker? Do they find something wrong with your gift. Do they expect it? Do they appreciate it?
5. If the circle completes itself, you know that it is good place to give. If the circle does not complete itself, it may be time to discern if this is a good investment of your time and energy. There are likely other people who would gladly complete the circle with your gift- if you gave them the opportunity.

Happy giving and May the Circle be Unbroken (written by the Carter Family in 1928).




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