Flow like water to where you want to be

Water flows to its source via the path of least resistance. It is the most powerful thing on the planet.

It does not tantrum against things or demand people or situations to change. It simply flows through anything it encounters. It slowly erodes away its obstacles. It is patient. It always gets where it is trying to go. It doesn't get stuck or attached to things.

So how can we flow like water? It starts with seeing things as they are. Cease expending energy trying to change people and things into what you need them to be. Rather invest your energy and creativity to accepting things as they are and flowing through them.

When entering an experience, encompass (see previous blog) or embrace everything that is going on in front of you. See and accept all the dynamics and interactions. Allow a way to flow through the experience to present itself. Jump in. The water is fine.

You can feel when you are flowing with your life. Things are clicking. Doors are opening. It is harmonious.

True Strength is the extent that you can trust your heart

True strength comes from inside ourselves. Our heart knows what to do. We access this by allowing ourselves to feel. The extent that we are able to trust our heart and act on what it is telling us to do is how strong we are.

What do we look to when we find ourselves in a challenging situation? Do we trust ourselves enough to act on what our intuition and instincts are telling us to do?

Or... do we try to process it through our intellect? Do we look to others to tell us what to do. Do we try to figure out what is socially acceptable? These things compromise our strength.

Did you ever get a strong feeling to do or not do something, not listen to it, and then later find out that listening to yourself would have saved you a lot of grief?

Leaders are strong in this way. They trust themselves.

Our current world needs leaders and strong people. Can it count on you trusting your heart?

Look inside yourself for guidance and direction

Our culture encourages us to look outside of ourselves on how to be. What direction are things moving? How do I fit? What is socially acceptable? But maybe our culture is more lost than you are. We look to each other and patterns of behavior and trends are formed. Someone declares that this is the new way to be. It has no anchor. The blind are leading the blind.

True direction for your life has to come from inside of you. This is the only hope for fulfillment or true happiness. What is important to you? What are you passionate about? What special talent do you have to offer to make the world a better place? These questions cannot be answered by someone outside of ourselves. Yet, that is where we tend to look.

It has to start with finding a way to look inside yourself. There is something inside yourself that is trying to guide you. You can access it though your feelings and dreams. You can pay attention to what you are drawn to and go explore it. You can mediate or pray. You can journal or express yourself through a project or art. You do can what you really feel like doing. You can trust your instincts.

But is has to start by looking in the right place... inside you. Only you knows what it feels like to be you. Why would you look to another?

Exposure and discovery: The key to intimacy

Intimacy is about exposure. It is allowing someone to see who you really are.

In one form or another, our self-beliefs and self-concepts tell us that there is something wrong with us. That if we allow someone to see who we are inside, they will reject us and leave us. So we present ourselves in a way that spins who we are to make us more socially acceptable. We wear a mask.

The downside of hiding or cloaking yourself is that no one really gets to know who you are really are. You are are all alone with how you feel inside. This is the one of the reasons that loneliness is so rampant in our culture.

So if you want to be close with someone you have to be willing to risk. You EXPOSE who you really are to them. One piece at time. You have to trust that they are strong enough to accept and support who we are. And trust that you are strong enough to heal yourself and reconfigure your life if they are not able to. You will feel a bit vulnerable after you expose something real about yourself. Although uncomfortable- that is a sign that you are on the right track.

And... you have to be willing to DISCOVER who they really are. You invite them to expose who they are. When they start sharing something about themselves, you listen and encourage them to continue. Your only intention is discovering and accepting who they are. Ask inquisitive questions. Do not judge or try to solve anything for them. They will be watching closely to see if you are able to accept them.

So if you want to feel close to someone, risk exposing who you are and discovering who they are. Life is much more enjoyable when you have someone to share yourself with.

Focus and Discipline

To create the life you want, you need clear intention. This requires focus. You sometimes need to do some soul-searching to find out what is important to you. It has to be what is important to you now- not ten years ago.

As we grow, what is important to us changes. These changes sometimes manifest in "existential crises" such as midlife crises. The way to resolve an existential crisis is to redefine what is important to you. This allows you to focus and create something new. This can be done through a "rite of passage"- or consciously changing what your life is about.

Then you can attract the thing you intend to yourself. This is what The Secret and Law of Attraction talk about.

Once your intention is focused, you need discipline. You have to hold that focus long enough to for it to manifest. If you let your mind and intention go all over the place, you will create random things for ourselves. By the time the things that you intended presents itself, you are onto something else and often do not even recognize it.

Discipline allows us to work with our intention long enough to unfold it. This is illustrated through a metaphor of shooting arrows. If you shoot your arrows in the same direction, it takes you further and further toward your goal. If you shoot your arrows in all different directions, they are not able to be as focused and effective.

So take aim and keep shooting your arrows until the thing you intended presents itself. Many people give up or get distracted right before what they want appears. Focus and discipline.

Time for a change? We all need a Metamorphosis.

One of my greatest passions is reserving a weekend and guiding people through a complete personal change. I have received so much value from such events over the past 25 years- sometimes as a participant and sometimes as a facilitator.

When planning for this event, my marketing consultant, John Driscoll, had a great idea. Why not make it a weekend retreat instead of a weekend seminar? Then people could stay overnight, eat there, and have an uninterupted 45 hours to focus on themselves. I said let's do it.

I am calling it a "Metamorphosis" Retreat. It will be at the Bear Creek Lodge by the beautiful Mt. Spokane. Many people do not allow themselves the life they want because they do not believe that it is possible. There is something about two days away from it all that evokes the clarity and insight into what is really important to you- and the extent you allow yourself to have it. I will use Native American ceremony, guided meditation, and sharing circles to walk participants through their own metamorphosis- in which they choose what to change into.

The retreat is Friday night, April 23 through Sunday afternoon April 25. There is still room. It includes meals and two nights of lodging at the Bear Creek Lodge. For more information call me at 509-850-7694, or email me at info@michaelhoffman.info.

So turn your cell phone off. Put the world on hold. It will still be there when you return. It just may look a little different.

Look for opportunities to address emotional issues

When looking to have experiences that have emotional content involved, the timing and energy of the people involved is essential.

When taking care of business, you are primarily working with your rational, analytical mind to make decisions and address situations. It works to have meeting about such and such topic at 10:00 am on Tuesday, for instance. The rational mind or intellect is relatively detached from our emotions and can deal with the task at hand on demand.

But for emotional experiences, it is much more effective to address them when the timing and energy is right. It is important to discern the emotional energy of the person and yourself to see if it is conducive to such a discussion or experience.

So when you are wanting to address something with someone you care about, send out the intention, and then look for opportunities to present themselves to address or experience it. Trust your instincts to know when the energy is right. It is a matter of letting things unfold rather than forcing them.

Another skill to do this is to allow the subject matter that you wish to discuss to arise naturally. My Zen teacher would wait months for me to bring a topic up before he would discuss and give me counsel on it. That way he knew that I was ready and open to it. He found it more authentic to address things that were in the "present."

By finding the right opportunity, you will find the person you wish to connect with more open and available to what you want to share with them.

What energy does this experience require?

We typically respond to situations by what we say or do. But it is also essential to consider how we say it or do it. With what emotional or life energy do we offer our words or actions? Is it soft and compassionate? Is it strong and intense? Is it playful and humorous?

Obviously, different experiences require different energies. So when we approach an experience and consider what to do, we might also consider what type of energy that experience requires.

People respond to the energy that you carry more than the words or even actions. And it makes actions and words be understood and have more of an impact. It adds color and richness to the experience.

It is when a parent finds the way that there child misbehaved is somewhat humorous- but they want to send the message that what the child did is serious. So they care enough to pull up the energy of being strict and strong. If they do not, the child will not take them seriously and learn anything.

We typically have some energies that we are more comfortable at carrying than others. We tend to offer our default energy with everything that we do.

Offering different energies allows us to be dynamic. We have to be willing to go beyond our inhibition and "play act" that energy. This is what good actors are able to do. They are able to project the energy of what they are saying and doing. So much that you can feel it across the screen. It is real because they pull it up from inside themselves.

People may think we are weird, intense, no fun, over the top, bitchy, not cool, or silly. There is a good chance that they will not like us at the time of that experience. We have to be willing to risk.

So next time you are considering what to say or do- ask yourself, "What energy will express what I am trying to say or do here." Then... find the strength to pull that energy up and offer it.

Discern when offering your gift to someone

Do you like to give? This teaching has helped me immeasurably. When giving... always bring up the energy of the gift to the person you are offering it to and discern if the door is open before offering it to them. Discern if there is a connection before proceeding.

Watch investing in people who are not open. This creates "misguided compassion." Make sure you are not projecting qualities onto them that you need them to have.

A gift from your heart is sacred. Treat it as being precious. People who are not open to it are not worthy of it. Are they in their heart or in their intellect. If they start judging or criticizing your gift, you know you are in trouble. Pack up your gift and move on. Do not waste the beauty of your heart on someone who is not open to it. It hurts you, and frightens and repels them.

So bring up the energy of your gift before offering it. Allow the energy of the person in. Are they compatible? Do they connect? If so, proceed. If not, save it for another day. This is discernment.

The beauty of your gift will soon attract someone that is open to it. You will see them... provided you don't keep trying to give it to people that are not open to it.